The Sort-of-Scientific Method

Closing the Teach For America Blogging Gap
Feb 20 2013

Putting Teacher-Me Aside

Day 102: Super late post! With vacation and traveling and college singing group reunions and too much drinking, to be honest, I can’t remember how the Friday before break went. All I can remember is NL writing me a note on her quiz that said, “You’re the best science teacher ever. You make everything so easy to understand.” I take it as a good sign that my rumination-inclined brain can only remember this. I feel no need to remember anything negative.

I know it’s far past New Year’s, but I feel the need for another resolution. The January-February stretch in the classroom wasn’t bad, per se. Some really excellent things happened in my classroom. But at the same time, I was nearly always tired. I didn’t sleep. I ruminated. I tweaked and made perfect when fine would have been … well, fine. Despite all of the good that happened in Room 105, I can only feel burned out, and stressed about my to-do list. I feel like I sacrificed too much of life outside the classroom to make things perfect inside.

So, here it is. I need to take it easy in planning land. I need to say “good enough” more often. I need to make friends. I need to do the things that make me laugh and smile and feel like a human being. I need to make sure I’m happy, and that means I need to let teacher-me (not the same as real-life me) chill out for a few minutes.

I am 100 percent sure this is easier said than done, especially for me. My father told me last night I’m capable of making being a garbage man a stressful, perfectionist-type job … and I don’t disagree. But I have to get better at this. I can’t drive myself into the ground forever. I deserve better than that.

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